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And no, I’m not talking about the sounds people make when they open their mouths. Instead I’m talking about the voices of our pets…Yes you read that right, pets. Not just any pets though. I’m talking about Ryan Reynolds’ pets. I realize this sounds a little weird. Let me just give you a little back story.
I was home sick from work yesterday. Not by choice though. My doctor sent me home before I got any sicker. So, my lovely fiance and I were laying in bed at around 5:00pm, he was already sound asleep (don’t judge, he wakes up at 1:00am usually for work), and I thought to myself ‘Quiet_Introvert, are you really ready to go to sleep now?’ And no I wasn’t. So I pulled out my trusty tablet (the same one I’m writing this on) and turned on my amazon prime video player app thing (yes this is the technical term for this app).
After browsing through the movies fr what seemed like forever, but was really only five minutes or so, trying to find something my cough medicine addled brain would find entertaining, I came across an interesting looking picture of a movie called The Voices, starring Ryan Reynolds and a few other people.
I do enjoy most of his movies (we wont mention Green Lantern, while bad could’ve been much worse, or X-Men where Deadpool made his grand debut.) So I figured what the hell, I’ll check this out. Upon tapping on the picture to bring up the description I was greeted with the words “talking, evil pets”. Well, color me intrigued.
Let me tell you, this movie is fucking weird. Funny, odd, fucking weird.
Here’s the gist of it. Ryan Reynolds plays a man named Jerry, who’s two pets Mr. Whiskers and Bosco (I’ll let you figure out who’s who, but here’s a hint Mr. Whiskers is a diabolical tabby with a fabulous accent) talk to him. In my opinion they represent two sides of Jerry’s personality. Bosco being the “good” side of Jerry, and Mr. Whiskers being the “evil” serial killer side of Jerry. Now that I look back on that sentence, I realize anyone who has seen this movie knows this.
Jerry works in a factory that makes bathtubs and toilets and the like. In the beginning couple minutes of this film Jerry’s boss walks up to him and starts talking about Jerry’s court appointed Psychiatrist. Clue number one that this wont be a normal movie. He then proceeds to ask Jerry to help a party planning committee.
At this party planning meeting, we’re introduced to Fiona who is played by the lovely Gemma Arterton. Jerry immediately fixates on her. It seems innocent enough at first. They go to the party and do a conga line, there’s quite a lot of funny dialog leading up to the conga line moment. Yes, I do realize I’ve mentioned this conga line twice, now three times, in this same paragraph, but trust me it’s funny and worth mentioning.
Some maddness ensues with Jerry and Fiona over the course of the next ten minutes or so, such as Fiona dodging him by hiding in her cubicle…you get the drift. She’s creeped out by Jerry, quite frankly I would be to too an extent. Her coworker played by Anna Kendrick takes a fast liking to Jerry, more on that later. Well, at some point Fiona’s car breaks down and who comes to her rescue? Thats right ladies and gents, you guessed it. Jerry.
Now I don’t want to give it away, but this is a movie about killer pets and the like so you can guess whats coming next. Yes, Jerry does kill her. Not only does he kill her, but he kills her, dismembers her, and keeps her head in the fridge where he holds conversations with her.
Now if I keep giving a blow by blow, you’ll feel like you’ve seen this movie. What I’d like is if you read this, find the small bit of information I’ve put on here interesting, and watch the movie yourself. I will tell you, somehow, he ends up with three talking heads in his fridge, and the ending credits scene is pretty epic.
So, folks. Watch this weird fucking movie and tell me what you think! I dug it. And on the weirdness level I’d rate it a solid 6.5. Give it a go, you just might like it!
And with that, I’m stepping away for a moment.
Catch you on the flipside,
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