The Weird Story of a Man and His Walrus…

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Let me start this by saying, I love Kevin Smith movies.  I think the man is fantastic. I had my very first introduction to his movies as a 14 year old girl, sneaking around behind my mom’s back watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike back.  Of course, at the time I didn’t really get any of the jokes until I was older.  But that was my introduction.

As I grew older, I watched Clerks, Dogma, and even Clerks the cartoon! I couldn’t get enough.  So imagine my surprise when he was talking about Tusk on Facebook! I finally had a chance to watch it a couple of weeks back (behind the times I know…don’t judge me.)  And wow.  It did not disappoint in the sheer wtf-ness of his usual style.

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I was laying in bed watching this movie while my guy was snoring away next to me.  Justin Long was amazing in this, but the best part was Michael Parks as Mr. Howard Howe.  Could just me be though because I have a soft spot for him after watching him in Kill Bill.

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Mr. Howard Howe

Now I can hear you asking “Quiet_Introvert, will you stop this rambling and tell us what this movie is about?!” Well fine! I’ll tell you!

Justin Long stars as Wallace Bryton, who runs a podcast with his best friend Teddy Craft played by none other than the kid from the Sixth Sense, Haley Joel Osment.  What’s the name of this podcast you might ask? The NotSee Party.  The movie starts off with the two of them making fun of The Kill Bill Kid, who essentially cuts off his leg.  Wallace decides to go to Canada and meet this kid and interview him for the podcast.

After arriving in the great white north, he arrives at the kids house only to have it be on the day of the funeral. Well, shit.  After this unforeseen issue, Wallace arrives at a restaurant (I swear there’s a good reason I’m mentioning this). While there, he has to use the facilities, upon standing at the urinal he sees a letter from Mr. Howe, explaining that he is a lonely old man and has many stories to tell.  YAY! The podcast isn’t doomed after all.

He calls Mr. Howe and ends up in a little convenience store ran by none other than Kevin Smith’s own flesh and blood Harley Quinn Smith (dig the name by the way) and Johnny Depp’s not so kiddish kid, Lily-Rose Depp.   I’ll let you watch the movie for this scene, it’s pretty damn funny.  Then we’re on our way to Mr. Howe.

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Harley Quinn Smith (Left) Lily-Rose Depp (Right)

Now Mr. Howe once lived with a walrus, aptly named Mr. Tusk.  He tells Wallace many stories of his time with Mr. Tusk, and how he grew to love the walrus.  No, it’s not that kind of movie, more of a brotherly love. Things get really weird from here. There’s drugging involved, and waking up missing appendages.  It’s definitely not for the faint of heart.

I don’t want to give too much away, because I hate those reviews where you’ve seen the whole movie before even watching it.  You will get to see a man slowly descend into madness by way of Walruses, his friends trying to rescue him from said madness, and even Johnny Depp shows up for a bit!  It’s a total win win in my opinion.

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Johnny Depp as Detective Guy Lapointe

So… is this movie fucked up? Oh yeah.  Is it awesome? Definitely.  Should you watch it?  That my friends would be a resounding hell yes.  Because where else would you get to hear some awesome stories about Cana-Do’s and Cana-Don’ts, walruses, and it’s such a transformation story! Oh man, I loved this movie.  Go watch it. Enjoy it and tell me what you think!

This movie had me roped in as a hockey lover when they were discussing your Cana-Do’s and your Cana-Don’ts. It’s Brilliant.

I will however add in the following picture and let you think on this….

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I promise I’ll post about something more recent here pretty soon.


Catch you on the flipside,



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